My Perfect Pair of Shoes

So, as I'm cruising along the information superhighway on my cyberspace surfboard I ran across my idea of the perfect pair of shoes. These must be the work of a former Woodstock genius! You see, I love going bare-footed...I've been doing it my whole life. Summer, winter, all seasons...it matters not to me. I like the feeling of naked feet but before you start thinking that I have a foot fetish (which I definitely do not) let me 'es-plain you'. I like the nonbinding freedom of bare feet that you don't get from wearing shoes. You know, the wind softly whisking across your feet as you walk...the air between your toes (this could be a song huh?) No smelly shoes or socks to ruin your, or someone else's, day! But, I have to admit that as I 'evolve' (I don't age) I find that my once loved freedom of going with bare feet is starting to add some wear and tear to them. And because I'm not a fan of just any 'ol feet, especially ugly ones, I've always tried to keep my feet pretty by soaking, buffing, sanding and moisturizing them not to mention having the husband rub them when needed. But alas, they're becoming harder to maintain. So, I'm thinking, with these new shoes all that is needed is some Dr. Sholls gellin' pads, a couple of air holes in the sides and a touch of toenail polish and Voila! I have the appearance of bare feet without the calluses or the chance of frostbite in the winter! I may even get an extra pair to spray paint black and blue....just to wear in the winter and freak people out!!!